Accepting Who You Are

After several failed romantic relationships and a failed marriage. I use those past experiences as a guide to figure out how to navigate the exciting but sometimes confusing world of my relationship with my boyfriend.  I recall what worked and what did not work and the reasons why. Accepting that every relationship between two individuals is very unique helps me stay away from comparisons.

I have also became more accepting of not only who my boyfriend is but who I am and how I react.

Creating Your Story Together

As this year is ending I have taken time out of sometimes hectic schedule to reflect on what situations and experiences I want in my life and the ones I have been blessed to already have attracted. The course my life takes affects the people in my life, just as much as it obviously affects me. So for me it's a no brainer  that whenever an individual is involved in a relationship with an adult that person should also be made aware of what goals their partner is pursing. Because even though as individuals we must go through the experience ourselves to get to our goals, each story or goal leads to the same place at the end to be together.

Seasons Greetings 2014

This holiday season is always a great time to reflect on all of the wonderful people and places in my life. I'm grateful for the friends in my life, my new job, my fantastic finances, my wonderful boyfriend and all he puts up with, my wonderful mother and all she does for me, my fantastic siblings and all of the fun I can count on them to have, this beautiful city, state and country I reside in and the wonderful people that live in it; the fantastic sex, the books I read, the stories and novels I write and the many other things that bring a smile to my face.

Happy Holidays to you the reader. I hope that this year has been and continues to be as delicious as mine.

A TOAST TO WET DREAMS and HOT FUDGE.

Taking Care of You

This great Fall week I am getting a dose of my own medicine, I neglected to take care of this wonderful, sexy and special body I have. So naturally I have a fever. I've missed some personal deadlines and work, but at the end of the day I am alive. This all could have been avoided had I took a few less steps before and just relaxed giving my mind and body time to rest; something all living creatures need.

And now to my point, the end result in anything we do is to live another day to do it all over again. No one can do that if their not alive. Saying NO to your partner, friends, co-workers, manager, family when they ask of you more than you can give at that moment is OK. If YOU the reader aren't around tomorrow because you could not say NO that would be a sad thing. I'm sure your partner, friends, and family want to see you another day.

Pick and Choose Your Advice

In our relationship my partner and I have intertwined families I now better know his family and friends and he knows my family and friends better . Maybe because I'm in a relationship now I am attracting friendships with people who are in a stable relationship. I am learning from what people say and don't say. The loving long term relationships are based on compassion and lots, lots of patience, the not so loving relationships were the couples are constantly arguing or mad at each other are full of anger, resentment, and almost no communication.

Being able to observe the small but subtly interactions between the couples around you is important, because when you want advice on improving your relationship you don't want to go the friend that has a problem with being faithful. In the same way if that friend is giving advice on relationships you need to let it go in one ear and out the other.

Either way I don't take advice, I gather opinions and use what I want.

Stop, Look and Listen

As a women with many friends I often contemplate, like a lot of women; how my relationship with my partner is different or the same as my friends. I do the "comparison" thing in the back of my head, not because I have to but because I can, and thoughts are like opinions everyone has one.

So I realize that these "thoughts" I have when I compare my life, relationship, job, income, lifestyle are all stories, yes stories I tell myself about how better or worse a friend is in a certain area of their life. Of course the people we most associate with affect our lives, but each person as an individual adult has a preset determined list of what they consider wrong or right. So if we have our own set of beliefs why are so many of us; myself included, so often preoccupied with thoughts of comparison.

I propose a new idea for myself, stop, look and listen.

STOP the random thoughts, the moment you notice them.
LOOK at yourself, mirror, reflection, recognize yourself as you.
LISTEN to what is going on around you; someone talking to you or just the sound of the wind.

When we can recognize and accept us for being us without comparison we continue to move forward to a better place in all aspect of our lives.

The Captains' Desires

This weeks blog post is dedicated to "desires".
Definition: to wish or long for; crave, want.

I desire many things in my life, material, mental, and spiritually things. I desire to have a well written blog that inspires, motives readers to be a better person, that's just one example. I bring up the subject because I realized long time ago that we individually carry within us the ability to motive ourselves, where does that motivation come from, you got it "DESIRE" when you want it, you want it. I love that I have some many desires, it keeps me going everyday even when I want to quit my 9-5 or just tell some people to "go shove it".

This also takes me to the part were I bring up my relationship with my wonderful boyfriend. I discuss my desires with him, he is clearly aware of them and when I am slacking and not doing what I said I would, I can count on him pointing it out. He never once criticized my desires; OK maybe once, my desire to travel the world with him, but I'm still working on it. But seriously its so important to have a partner that supports your desires, I encourage everyone to share your wants with your partner on a daily basis. Also when the haters come by to visit, whether at work, family or friends, and they will; please just remember who is running the ship, if you look in the mirror you'll see the Captain of the ship.


Captain Mercedes Cruz