Buying Your Way to Love

As I usher in the small signs of Spring here on the East Coast; my calendar says the first day of Spring is March 20th, mother nature said "No its not suckers";  I reminisce on the people in my life and how far we have come in our relationship. 

My relationship with old friends, siblings, my parents, and my great boyfriend. I have no doubt that these relationships affect my life in many different ways. I also realize that no amount of money, fame, or ass kissing could recreate a genuine relationship. I could not replace the relationship I have now with my boyfriend and not because I feel we have a "perfect relationship", because by no means will we ever. We aren't rich but our life is full of wealth. We live in the USA, we have access to fresh water and food, access to information, we have cell phones to stay in touch with the whole day, and we have a comfy bed to keep each other warm at night. 

No amount of money could replace what we have developed. It's only through our growing LOVE for each other that we have created what we have going on. 

Music for Life and Love

Music in my life is a fantastic addition like dairy-free whip cream on my hot chocolate. With music you can place your mind in a different state; happy, excited, frisky, energized, whatever floats your boat. The lyrics in the songs often transport me to a world with less seriousness and responsibilities, a serious free zone. This same affect is present when I associate certain songs with my wonderful boyfriend. Listening to the beat of the music brings back memories of times spent together alone.

Whenever I feel overwhelmed and don't have anyone to speak to at that moment I pull out my play-list on my iPhone; portable and cheap therapy. Listening to my favorite songs will never solve my dilemmas but neither will someone else, I just think it's great that I have music that goes with my every day life and love.

Spring is Here

For those of us living on the East Coast this week brings signs of Spring with it. The sight of snow melting and the sun shining is a great thing.

It's time to also make changes not only to your home but yourself. Maybe you have been considering losing weight or gaining muscles, and even updating your wardrobe to reflect a more sophisticated, neater you. Of course these are all things I am considering for myself and sharing with you my reader.

Either way this new season is a great reason to make changes.

Action equals Satisfaction

When I am alone random questions and thoughts pop up in my head. I often wonder into la la land with "What Ifs". The great thing about imagining is that it does not hurt you, you picture what you want and when you are done you continue with your day.

But what happens when you want what you imagine more than just in your imagination. I have had the pleasure of imagining / visualizing some wonderful places and events in my life and I have also have the pleasure of seeing those images come to life. I share this with my readers to say this I have learned that with the help of my imagination and action I have been successful in many areas of my life. One in particular is my love life. Before I met my boyfriend I was single for a few years and not into the dating life. I knew that in the big city I live in and adore their were; and still are, around ten single women for every one single man. So I used what I had, my imagination and actions to attract a great man into my life. Action was the turning point to my key. When I added actions to attracting a great man I got what I wanted.

I won't say that I got the perfect person on the first try, but that's why the princess in the fairytale kissed so many frogs she was looking for her Prince Charming.

Everyday Romance​​​ By Vanessa Peters

Today I  have the wonderful opportunity to share my blog with a guest blogger. Enjoy this great piece about Romance by my great friend Vanessa Peters.


Everyday Romance​​​

By Vanessa Peters
 

As a writer and reader of romance it is easy to get caught up in the web of happily ever after found in the stories we love.  The bated breath and nervous butterflies of the first kiss never will get old and we will fawn over those pages again and again.  These stories can sometimes cloud our perceptions and make it difficult to catch the subtle beauty of romance we maybe experiencing every day in our own lives.  

Romance does not…almost never…comes in the form of a hero riding in on horseback to sweep you off your feet.  Sometimes it is the partner that takes care of the little things for you day after day so that you can work towards fulfilling your dreams.  

Sometimes…almost always…it is the quiet romance that fills in the corners of your day.  

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”   -Lao Tzu

For me my quiet romance, so very often fills in at the end of the day.  It finds me on nights when my day has been nothing less than hellish and I crawl into bed exhausted and overwhelmed.  My love will find me in the dark and pull me close.  I can ease into his side without either of us having to say a word.  His arms are enough to tell me he supports me and everything will be okay.  In his unassuming embrace, I know I can recharge for the day to come.  His love helps me keep going when the ins and outs of life becomes too much.  His support on my journey as a writer means more than any heart shaped box of chocolates ever will.  This quiet romance is what my stories are made of.


 

 

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:  

Born and bred in Brooklyn, I am a freelance artist and writer. 

I am looking to create stories of love and romance that reflect the people and the world around me. I am currently working on my first romance set in the Tri-state area.

Website/Blog   www.vanessa-peters.com

Twitter/ Instagram @VPetersBKNY

WRITING LATINO ROMANCE By Maria C. Ferrer

This guest blogger shares her view of what it means to write Latino Romance. I am glad to have the opportunity to share my blog with her today.

WRITING LATINO ROMANCE

By Maria C. Ferrer

When I started writing romance I admit that my characters were primarily white.  Latinos were the BFFs, but never the villains in my books.  White heroes and heroines were the industry norm and I was writing to the trends back then.  

            For the past five years, my lead protagonists have all been Latinos, and I've done that purposely.  Even before the “We Need Diverse Books” campaign, I wanted to see Latinos like me in stories, and since I couldn't find them, I’m writing them.

            I find inspiration everywhere.  Sometimes it’s an article in the paper, other times a setting, a name, or a wedding!

            For example, for my secret baby book, DADDY FOUND, I was inspired by my cousin’s wedding.  It was a great party.  Lots of hot single guys to dance with, luckily not all of them related to me.  And I thought… kissing cousins.  

What if cousins of cousins meet at a wedding, have a wild three-day weekend resulting in a baby?  What if when she goes to tell him she finds him getting married to someone else? And what if the reason he married the other woman was false?

            So I had the plot, now I had to come up with characters.

            Yessenia.  I love my heroine’s name.  It says, sexy and Latina in a big way.  And I love this actual spelling.  Yessie I knew right away.  She was the jet setter of the family.  Had a great job with the airlines, traveled a lot.  The love them and leave them type, but in a good way.  And she loved visiting her cousins in Connecticut, where the wedding took place.

            Rafael.  Another name I love.  If I could I would name all my heroes Rafael.  (Never Rafa.  Yuk.)  Rafael is a strong name.  I imagine angelic features with a strong character and a winning smile.  Rafael is the best man at the wedding.  A straight arrow.  The oldest of the cousins on his side, always setting a good example.  But being good was chaffing a bit.  He wants more than the childhood sweetheart, more than a job in the family firm.  The wedding is his last hurrah before going off to a new job and a new life in Virginia.

            These two meet and sparks fly.  He’s tall, dark and dangerous.  She’s fascinating, alluring and curved in all the right places.  

A wild weekend.

A secret baby.

A separation.

A reunion six years later.

Now, if you didn't know, secret babies are super popular among romance readers.  We love them.  So, I added some love and sabor to an old theme, and made it all mine.

My characters too will struggle to do what is best for their child; and will fight the attraction between them because they want to fall in love and not just in lust.  And, they’ll do it all surrounded by a big, fat, Puerto Rican family.

And that is how I write Latino romances – with love, sabor, and great characters that readers will be able to identify with and cheer for.♥

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:  Maria C. Ferrer writes contemporary romances under her real name, and erotica under the name of Del Carmen.  She has been published by Cleis Press and Ravenous Romance, as well as in magazines including Star, Cosmopolitan for Latinas and Penthouse. 

Visit her at www.marializaferrer.blogspot.com and www.mydelcarmen.com.

            

Valentine Day Everyday

Its Valentines Day here in the USA. Its both a beautiful day and a very confusing one for many people; especially young people. For many women it defines their love from their partner, depending on if they receive a gift, what kind of gift, what was said, not said.

For me personally its a great day to celebrate my love for all of the great people and things in my life. An excuse to celebrate a union of love between two people. The fact that I am alive and in good health is a reason to celebrate and the bonus is being able to share this life with another person who wants to be with me around me and share experiences with me. I in turn can only expect that my partner feels the same about me. No amount of fancy chocolates, roses, jewelry or fancy dinner date will ever replace the feeling being happy in your relationship. Knowing that the person you share the most time with has your back, is reliable, dependable and above all loves you, even at your ugliest moment. That is Valentine Day everyday or almost.

Happy Valentine's Day
Mercedes E. Cruz

 

Check Out these wonderful authors and how they celebrate Valentines Day.

 

Vanessa Peters

Maria Ferrer

My Writing Desk

My writing desk is a space in my tiny apartment that I share with my boyfriend. I cherish my writing desk, sometimes it’s the breakfast table, sometimes it’s the dinner table. Its purpose depends on the time of day but mostly it’s my writing desk. The place I seek to improve my writing skills, to complete my novel, post weekly on my blog, enter writing contest and submit short stories. My writing desk is not fancy, it’s probably made of plywood. Sometimes it’s not sturdy if I lean on it, deep in thought as I often do. I know that sometime in the future my writing desk give up on me, one leg at a time. But for now my writing desk is here with me day and night and in-between.

Pssst… Sometimes I do my writing on my coach, but don’t you dare tell my writing desk.

Mercedes Cruz

PS check out these other great Latina writers as they talk about their writing desk. 

Maria Ferrer


Vanessa Peters

Love Me Harder

Everyday in my relationship with my wonderful boyfriend is something different. Sometimes we have great days and sometimes we have shitty days. My boyfriend is usually the one apologizing at the end of the day, even though we were both at fault.

Everyday is a new day to do something different or try again. I try to remember this every night before I go to bed and when I wake in the morning. I realize that those days that challenge our relationship is great opportunity to love each other harder.

Any Given Sunday

This Sunday evening as my wonderful boyfriend and I sit on the coach watching the football game. We discuss the teams playing, he tells me the "Playoffs" stats on the teams. What teams he's rooting for. I was never a football fan until I met my boyfriend, and he introduced me to the game. Sunday is always game day so he does no activity that takes him away from our big screen TV to watch Sunday football.

What have I learned about football ? That everyone has a chance to reach their goal, sometimes yearly, monthly or weekly.  My goal with my boyfriend is to strengthen our communication skills, and to always help each other reach our personal goals. We have the opportunity to work on these goals when we are together any given Sunday.

Letting Go

In recent years as I become older and wiser, I have come to appreciate the moments, things and people that are no longer in my life. I can recall countless times when I was in a relationship ;both romantic and friendship, and things got sour and no matter what the other person and/or I did it felt like something negative always came up.

Looking back on those situations when I held on to a person , place or thing, only to leave it behind later, either on my own or by design, I wish that what ever led to my separation would have happened sooner. I realize now that whatever I have in my life today tomorrow and for the long term, if it's meant for me to have, I should not have to feel stress or anxiety when I think about it.

When a person, situation or material thing makes you feel better if you leave it behind, then it's time to let go. By letting go you give the right person, situation or material room to move into your life.

Bearing it All

On this first day of the year, I am taking time to count my blessings. To acknowledge the great people in my life and the abundance in my life.

As I enter this new year with my partner I reflect on how far our relationship has gone and how far we want it to go. We have had many ups and downs. But in order to have an honest relationship with another person I most first be honest with myself. Acknowledging my flaws and assets, realizing where I am weak and where I am strong. Knowing what I want out of the relationship and knowing what my partner wants. Compromising but never giving up on myself and my dreams.

You could say that relationships are about being venerable, bearing it all. Trusting someone else and trusting yourself.


Happy and Prosperous New Year !!!

Accepting Who You Are

After several failed romantic relationships and a failed marriage. I use those past experiences as a guide to figure out how to navigate the exciting but sometimes confusing world of my relationship with my boyfriend.  I recall what worked and what did not work and the reasons why. Accepting that every relationship between two individuals is very unique helps me stay away from comparisons.

I have also became more accepting of not only who my boyfriend is but who I am and how I react.

Creating Your Story Together

As this year is ending I have taken time out of sometimes hectic schedule to reflect on what situations and experiences I want in my life and the ones I have been blessed to already have attracted. The course my life takes affects the people in my life, just as much as it obviously affects me. So for me it's a no brainer  that whenever an individual is involved in a relationship with an adult that person should also be made aware of what goals their partner is pursing. Because even though as individuals we must go through the experience ourselves to get to our goals, each story or goal leads to the same place at the end to be together.

Seasons Greetings 2014

This holiday season is always a great time to reflect on all of the wonderful people and places in my life. I'm grateful for the friends in my life, my new job, my fantastic finances, my wonderful boyfriend and all he puts up with, my wonderful mother and all she does for me, my fantastic siblings and all of the fun I can count on them to have, this beautiful city, state and country I reside in and the wonderful people that live in it; the fantastic sex, the books I read, the stories and novels I write and the many other things that bring a smile to my face.

Happy Holidays to you the reader. I hope that this year has been and continues to be as delicious as mine.

A TOAST TO WET DREAMS and HOT FUDGE.

Taking Care of You

This great Fall week I am getting a dose of my own medicine, I neglected to take care of this wonderful, sexy and special body I have. So naturally I have a fever. I've missed some personal deadlines and work, but at the end of the day I am alive. This all could have been avoided had I took a few less steps before and just relaxed giving my mind and body time to rest; something all living creatures need.

And now to my point, the end result in anything we do is to live another day to do it all over again. No one can do that if their not alive. Saying NO to your partner, friends, co-workers, manager, family when they ask of you more than you can give at that moment is OK. If YOU the reader aren't around tomorrow because you could not say NO that would be a sad thing. I'm sure your partner, friends, and family want to see you another day.

Pick and Choose Your Advice

In our relationship my partner and I have intertwined families I now better know his family and friends and he knows my family and friends better . Maybe because I'm in a relationship now I am attracting friendships with people who are in a stable relationship. I am learning from what people say and don't say. The loving long term relationships are based on compassion and lots, lots of patience, the not so loving relationships were the couples are constantly arguing or mad at each other are full of anger, resentment, and almost no communication.

Being able to observe the small but subtly interactions between the couples around you is important, because when you want advice on improving your relationship you don't want to go the friend that has a problem with being faithful. In the same way if that friend is giving advice on relationships you need to let it go in one ear and out the other.

Either way I don't take advice, I gather opinions and use what I want.

Stop, Look and Listen

As a women with many friends I often contemplate, like a lot of women; how my relationship with my partner is different or the same as my friends. I do the "comparison" thing in the back of my head, not because I have to but because I can, and thoughts are like opinions everyone has one.

So I realize that these "thoughts" I have when I compare my life, relationship, job, income, lifestyle are all stories, yes stories I tell myself about how better or worse a friend is in a certain area of their life. Of course the people we most associate with affect our lives, but each person as an individual adult has a preset determined list of what they consider wrong or right. So if we have our own set of beliefs why are so many of us; myself included, so often preoccupied with thoughts of comparison.

I propose a new idea for myself, stop, look and listen.

STOP the random thoughts, the moment you notice them.
LOOK at yourself, mirror, reflection, recognize yourself as you.
LISTEN to what is going on around you; someone talking to you or just the sound of the wind.

When we can recognize and accept us for being us without comparison we continue to move forward to a better place in all aspect of our lives.

The Captains' Desires

This weeks blog post is dedicated to "desires".
Definition: to wish or long for; crave, want.

I desire many things in my life, material, mental, and spiritually things. I desire to have a well written blog that inspires, motives readers to be a better person, that's just one example. I bring up the subject because I realized long time ago that we individually carry within us the ability to motive ourselves, where does that motivation come from, you got it "DESIRE" when you want it, you want it. I love that I have some many desires, it keeps me going everyday even when I want to quit my 9-5 or just tell some people to "go shove it".

This also takes me to the part were I bring up my relationship with my wonderful boyfriend. I discuss my desires with him, he is clearly aware of them and when I am slacking and not doing what I said I would, I can count on him pointing it out. He never once criticized my desires; OK maybe once, my desire to travel the world with him, but I'm still working on it. But seriously its so important to have a partner that supports your desires, I encourage everyone to share your wants with your partner on a daily basis. Also when the haters come by to visit, whether at work, family or friends, and they will; please just remember who is running the ship, if you look in the mirror you'll see the Captain of the ship.


Captain Mercedes Cruz

Our Handbook

This year has been a year full of changes for the better, a new job, new apartment, new friends, but most importantly a stronger relationship with my partner.

As time passes and we each continue to pursue our goals while supporting each other our commitment for each other gets stronger. I often wondered how couples living with each other for years in harmony did it. I know there is no handbook on "how to navigate your relationship" because each couple has a unique relationship with each other. However if I made a handbook for my past self to read it would definitely say "keep moving forward each towards a goal, always having each other in mind and nothing is impossible".